2024: A New Year = A New Me, but does it really????!!!
Wow! We are 11 days into January!!! Time is flying! How are we all doing in the New Year so far?
This months blog is about moving forward in this new year and creating growth opportunities.
Many people, this time of year, feel obligated to set new goals. It is what we have been told to do through advertisements, media posts, magazines, as well as, our social communities ask, what are your goals this year?
Over the years, I have set goals, and each year, something felt off and often times, did not follow through. If you don't this know this about me already, I am the type that likes to check things off of my to do list the second I complete them, and if it wasn't on the list, I add it and cross it off! So goals were written on top of every week of my calendar, and my thoughts were saying, "must get this done." Well, I wasn't or maybe I was, but I was exhausted.
I started reflecting on why I have feel like I have failed. I came up with the following conclusions:
- Too much pressure: I was putting too much pressure on myself to complete these goals. If my to do item or my goal was not marked off on the date that I set forth, my thoughts became judgmental, especially that thought of, "I am not good enough" "Must do more". This way of thinking actually really impeded on my self love and my self confidence.
- High expectations: My expectations were something that I could not fulfill.
- Outside influence: I got sucked into the outside influences of what I was told in my childhood, in college, and through social media, commercials/ads, etc.
Growth Opportunities have worked so much better for me over the last couple of years, that I started sharing it with others. People, including myself, have noticed that they feel a sense of pride in reflecting back seeing the growth they have made in all aspects of their life.
It has been shared by many that they didn't realize that the word "goal" held so much power over them. That word "goal" would weigh over their heads as if someone was nagging at them, all the time. Some have shared that this way of thinking about goals has contributed to a low or depressed mood. And we most definitely do not need more pressure in our lives. I think it is safe to say, all of our plates are full right now!
*By no means, am I saying that you cannot set goals or intentions - it is just a different perspective and way of speaking to your self about it.*
What do growth opportunities mean?
It means that we take off the pressure, we lower the expectations, and we create small opportunities to grow and to move toward things we want and/or need. It means everyday we chip away at what we want to accomplish. This may look differently for each person.
For example, a person may want to be able to leave their house and be able to attend different events, however that person experiences social anxiety. Therefore, they're opportunity to grow can look like, leaving the house and getting into the car and sitting there. And for that person, that is making a small win towards leaving the house, as they are chipping away at their intention. That is success because you are moving the needle forward (as they say)... you are doing something different about this situation than you have in the past.
Other important ingredients to this include:
- Having grace
- Learn as you go
- Being open to different ways of moving forward
- Reflecting on what worked and what didn't
- Using a compassionate voice, not judgy, to say "you know, this is not working, what else can I try" instead of "geez, you really messed up there, how could you not see that coming?"
Each of us work towards something every day and each of us have our own system that we utilize to get there. There is no right way and no wrong way, it is just your way....like Frank Sinatra sings "My Way!" and you know, that guy was happy! Something to learn there! LOL
Message today:
- Take a look at your system of growth opportunities or intentions
- Ask yourself in a compassionate voice "is it working" "am I doing this the best way for me"
- If it needs to be tweaked, tweak it
- Be proud of yourself for moving forward, for learning, for growing -
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