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When Anxiety Sneaks Into Your Marriage — and What You Can Do About It

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When Anxiety Sneaks Into Your Marriage — and What You Can Do About It On the surface, everything might look okay in your relationship—you’re juggling work, kids, errands, and the daily bustle. But inside? It can feel like you’re just coasting. You might fear deeper conversations because they lead to tension, defensiveness, or shutdowns instead of closeness. If anxiety has become an uninvited guest at your table, you’re not alone—and there is a way forward. I help busy, married couples move from tension and disconnection into balance, empathy, and genuine connection — step by gentle step. Anxiety Shows Up Quietly — But It Impacts Everything Anxiety doesn’t always show up as panic attacks or obvious fear. In relationships, it often looks like: Tension in conversations Avoidance of deeper topics Feeling like you’re walking on eggshells Managing schedules more than emotional connection These patterns slowly drift you apart — not because of a lack of love, but because anxiety...
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Why Healing Isn’t Linear — Insights From a Therapist Who’s Been There

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  What I’ve Learned as an Anxiety & Relationship Therapist: Michelle Pettengill, LCSW Reflections on Healing, Presence, and Small Brave Steps When I became a therapist, I thought my role would be about helping people “work through their stuff.” What I didn’t realize was how deeply this work would change me . Over the years, I’ve sat with people in moments of anxiety so strong they could barely take a deep breath. I’ve talked with couples who love each other deeply but feel miles apart. I’ve listened to stories of exhaustion, burnout, and the quiet thought so many carry: "I should be able to handle this… but I can’t." Healing Happens in the Messy Middle If there’s one thing my clients have taught me, it’s that healing doesn’t happen in perfect, linear steps. It’s not a straight climb from “stuck” to “better.” It happens in the messy middle—the place where life feels overwhelming, yet you still find the courage to try again. It’s the moment you notice your shoulders drop...
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3 Signs Your Body Is Begging for a Nervous System Reset

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3 Signs Your Body Is Begging for a Nervous System Reset (And how to finally feel like yourself again)  You’re doing all the “right” things. You try to eat (when you remember), power through your to-do list, and get to bed at a reasonable hour. But something still feels off. Maybe it’s the headaches. Or the way your stomach ties itself in knots. Or that frustrating feeling like you just. can’t. breathe. Ugh!! If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. And you’re definitely not broken. When your nervous system gets stuck in fight-or-flight mode , your body starts sending signals that it’s overwhelmed—even if your brain is trying to keep it all together. This took me a long time to figure out (many years ago).  Let’s talk about the 3 physical signs your body may be begging for a nervous system reset: 1. Migraines That Come Out of Nowhere You’re not just “sensitive to stress.” When your nervous system stays in high alert for too long, the tension builds up—fast. That...
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Anxiety Flare-Up? Here's How I Found My Way Back

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It’s Been a While… But I’m Back! Ever feel like you’ve finally got things under control—your thoughts are clearer, your body feels more at ease—and then suddenly, out of nowhere, it all comes crashing back? The anxious thoughts return. Your body feels edgy and “off.” Your stomach is bloated, and your brain won’t stop overthinking. You’re left wondering, “Wait… I thought I had this handled. I thought I was healed?” Let me be the first to say— this is life. It ebbs and flows, and the real key isn’t in avoiding the hard moments—it’s in how we respond to them. About two years ago, my anxiety came roaring back. And I don’t mean quietly creeping in—I was radiating that edgy, jumpy vibe that felt so visible to everyone around me. My stomach was painfully bloated (thank you, cortisol), my sleep was restless, I couldn’t focus, and to top it off—I was stuttering. I felt disconnected from my family, my friends, and honestly, myself. My body was tense, I couldn’t take a deep breath, and even ...
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Blog 10: Reaction vs Response

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Hope you all have been enjoying the warmer weather!! I know it has been lifting my energy!  How was the last blog for you about compassion? Have you been able to practice talking to yourself in a more compassionate way? Feel free to email me your thoughts! Today we are talking about a tool called STOPP that I love to use! STOPP can be used when you are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, have a big decision, and/or when your tolerance is low. This tool will help us RESPOND vs REACT to daily situations.  Sometimes, we react to situations i.e. we are not thinking about how our actions will effect ourselves and others. We simple just act or say whatever comes out of our mouths. We can see or hear something, and react with defending ourselves, jumping to conclusions, aggression, yelling, accusing, or having no reaction which is shutting down.  These ways of reacting usually end up in: feeling awful about ourselves, ruminating over what happened and how it could have been differe...
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Blog 9: How to be more Kind and Compassionate to Ourselves..

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"Whenever I notice something about myself I don't like, or whenever something goes wrong in my life, I silently repeat the following phrases: "This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need." - Kristen Neff HHHIIIII everyone!!! It has been since the New Year that I have written!! How has it been treating you so far? I hope you had some great moments that make you feel good!  This blog is about Self Compassion!  As the weather warms up, we come out of our fog, we feel the mental clouds lifting, and maybe we take off that cozy sweatshirt, and are dressing more for Spring! As this next season comes, our thoughts might be changing. Some may have experienced some dark, negative thoughts during the winter season, and hopefully moving into Spring, will feel more of a sense of hope and release of that negativity. Hence, why SELF COMPASSION is sooo important to utilize right now - to ke...
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2024: A New Year = A New Me, but does it really????!!!

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Wow! We are 11 days into January!!! Time is flying! How are we all doing in the New Year so far? This months blog is about moving forward in this new year and creating growth opportunities. Many people, this time of year, feel obligated to set new goals. It is what we have been told to do through advertisements, media posts, magazines, as well as, our social communities ask, what are your goals this year? Over the years, I have set goals, and each year, something felt off and often times, did not follow through. If you don't this know this about me already,  I am the type that likes to check things off of my to do list the second I complete them, and if it wasn't on the list, I add it and cross it off! So goals were written on top of every week of my calendar, and my thoughts were saying, "must get this done." Well, I wasn't or maybe I was, but I was exhausted.  I started reflecting on why I have feel like I have failed. I came up with the following conclusions:  ...
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