Self-Care, Stress & Cortisol: What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You
When I was growing up, I had no idea what cortisol was—or even what my adrenal glands did!
I thought being tired was just a normal part of life.
You’re busy. You’re a student. You’re working. You’re taking care of people. You’re running around all day. Of course you’re tired…right?
As I got older and learned more about how stress affects our bodies, I started realizing something:
We aren't necessarily supposed to feel completely exhausted, overwhelmed, and “on” all the time.
And that got me really interested in the connection between stress, self-care, cortisol, sleep, hormones, and the mind-body connection.
Now, just so you know, I am a pretty simple person when it comes to explaining things. I am not clinical. I don't need a huge explanation to understand something. I want someone to tell me:
What is it?
Does it matter?
What can I do about it?
That simple!
That is how I like to communicate with you—and honestly, it is how I work with my clients, too.
So let's break this down in a simple way.
1st: What Is Stress?
Oh, stress....Ugh.
Stress can feel like the world is about to come crashing in.
You have deadlines.
Your boss gives you one more project.
Your kids need something.
Your house needs something.
Your partner needs something.
Your phone won't stop going off.
And somewhere in the middle of all of it, your brain is saying:
“Do this! Do that! You're not going fast enough! Why did you do that? Did I turn off the stove? Did I lock my car? I can't keep up! I have SO MUCH TO DO!”
AAAGGGHHH!
In fact, just typing that made me feel a little stressed. 😂
But here's the thing:
Stress isn't always bad!!!
Our stress response is designed to help us respond to challenges and potential danger. When we experience stress, our bodies release hormones including adrenaline and cortisol that help prepare us to respond.
That response can be incredibly helpful when we actually need it.
The problem is when our stress response is being activated OVER & OVER again without enough opportunity to recover.
That's when stress can start affecting BOTH our mental and physical well-being.
The American Psychological Association notes that chronic stress can contribute to problems such as anxiety, depression, digestive issues, headaches, muscle tension, sleep difficulties, fatigue, and changes in weight.
And this is where self-care becomes much more than bubble baths and spa days.
Self-care is about helping your mind and body to create opportunities to recover.
So…What Is Cortisol?
You've probably heard cortisol called the “stress hormone.”
Cortisol is a hormone produced by your adrenal glands. It plays several important roles in the body, including helping regulate blood sugar, blood pressure, metabolism, inflammation, and the body's response to stress.
And here's something important:
Cortisol IS NOT bad. We actually need it.
Your body naturally produces cortisol throughout the day, with levels generally higher around waking and gradually decreasing as the day goes on. During stressful situations, cortisol can increase to help provide the energy your body needs to deal with the challenge.
So the goal isn't:
“Get rid of cortisol!”
The goal is to support a healthy stress-response system and give your body opportunities to recover after stress.
Think about it this way:
Your body has an alarm system. The alarm is helpful when there is an actual problem. But if the alarm keeps going off all day long, every day, eventually you're going to feel pretty worn out & annoyed!
What About Your Adrenal Glands?
Your adrenal glands are small glands that sit on top of your kidneys.
They produce several important hormones, including cortisol and aldosterone, which help regulate things like your stress response, blood pressure, blood sugar, and fluid balance.
You've probably also heard the term “adrenal fatigue.”
Here's where I want to clear something up.
Adrenal fatigue is not a medically recognized diagnosis.
The Endocrine Society explains that there isn't scientific evidence supporting adrenal fatigue as a true medical condition, and there isn't a validated test for it.
So I don't want to tell you that your adrenal glands are simply “tired” because you've been stressed.
But that doesn't mean what you're feeling isn't real.
Fatigue, trouble sleeping, feeling overwhelmed, difficulty concentrating, digestive problems, anxiety, and changes in mood can absolutely be real—and there are many possible reasons for them.
Chronic stress is one piece of that puzzle.
And sometimes the best thing we can do is stop trying to self-diagnose through ChatGPT or other AI, google sources, and instead get curious about what our body may be telling us.
Adrenal Fatigue vs. Adrenal Insufficiency
These are not the same thing.
True adrenal insufficiency is a real medical condition in which the adrenal glands don't produce enough hormones, including cortisol. Symptoms can include significant fatigue, muscle weakness, weight loss, low blood pressure, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, and other symptoms. Diagnosis requires medical evaluation and testing.
So if you're experiencing ongoing or concerning physical symptoms, please talk with your doctor rather than assuming everything is “just stress.”
That's important.
As a therapist, my role is not to diagnose medical conditions. My role is to help you understand the connection between your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, stress, relationships, and overall well-being—and to collaborate with your medical providers when additional support is needed.
So What Does Self-Care Have to Do With All of This?
A LOT.
Self-care isn't just getting a massage once in a while, although that is lovely!
It's the EVERY DAY things that help support your ability to cope with stress and recover from it.
Things like:
Sleep.
Breathing.
Connection with other people.
Boundaries.
Time outside.
Rest.
Doing something you actually enjoy.
Asking for help.
Less screen time.
These aren't indulgences.
They're part of taking care of the human being who has to get through all of those daily demands.
And here's something I really want you to hear:
Self-care doesn't have to become another thing you have to “do perfectly.”
If your self-care routine requires 14 steps, three supplements, an hour of meditation, a perfect diet, and a color-coded schedule...
I'm already tired. 😂LOL
Let's make it simpler. My motto is: keep it simple!
4 Simple Ways to Start Supporting Yourself
1. Become Aware of YOU
Start noticing yourself.
Not judging.
Observing.
How are you feeling?
What thoughts keep coming up?
What happens in your body when you're stressed?
Are you clenching your jaw?
Holding your breath?
Tensing your shoulders?
Feeling restless?
Having trouble slowing your thoughts down?
You can even keep a simple journal to look for patterns.
Awareness gives you information. And information gives you something to work with.
2. BREATHE!
Seriously.
Your breath is always with you.
You don't need an app.
You don't need equipment.
You don't need an hour.
Take a moment to slow your breathing and intentionally make your exhale longer and more relaxed. The goal isn't to “fix” everything in 30 seconds. You're simply giving yourself a moment to pause. Sometimes a pause is exactly what we need.
3. Learn to Say No in One Complete Sentence...No.
This one is HARD. Trust me, I know!
But sometimes taking care of yourself means recognizing that you cannot do everything.
You don't have to say yes to every request.
You don't have to be available all the time.
You don't have to keep adding things to your already-full plate.
Ask yourself:
“Is this something I truly need to do?”
“Does this need to happen right now?”
“What would happen if I said no?”
Boundaries are a form of self-care, too.
4. Don't Do It Alone
This is my favorite one.
It takes a village.
If you're feeling constantly overwhelmed, exhausted, anxious, disconnected, or unable to manage the stress in your life, consider reaching out for support.
That might mean talking with your doctor.
It might mean working with a mental health therapist.
It might mean talking with someone you trust.
It might mean all three.
You don't have to figure everything out by yourself.
Your Body Is Talking—Are You Listening?
You don't have to become an expert in cortisol.
You don't have to memorize everything about your adrenal glands.
And you definitely don't need to diagnose yourself on the internet. 😉
But understanding the connection between stress, your nervous system, your thoughts, your body, sleep, nutrition, relationships, and self-care can help you begin to notice patterns.
And once you notice the patterns, you can begin making small changes.
You are not broken.
Your body isn't failing you.
Sometimes your body is simply saying:
“Hey…I'm carrying a lot right now.”
Listen.
Get curious.
Slow down when you can.
And ask for support when you need it.
You are in charge of YOU. 💪😍✌️
And remember:
It takes a village. Asking for support is a strength.
Want More Support With Self Care, Stress, & managing Cortisol?
If you find yourself constantly on the go, feeling drained, mind won't stop racing, trouble sleeping, you don't have to figure it out alone.
As an anxiety therapist in Folsom, CA, I work with busy, overwhelmed adults who feel like they're constantly "on" and want practical tools to calm anxiety, regulate their nervous system, and feel more like themselves again.
Therapy can be a place to understand why these patterns happen and build skills that actually fit into your real life.
Hi! I am enjoying your blog! I think your point about becoming aware is so important and has become a daily practice for me to catch myself and redirect my thinking when it slips into the negative. The relationship between what you think and how you feel is so incredible and something I want to be more conscious of throughout my day.
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